Think Brittney Gilbert

October 6th, 2003 | Web/Tech

Whoa.

Check this shit out.

I have been submitting the new URL for my weblog to various search engines and was attempting to locate my blog through various searches. I type in Brittney Gilbert, without the quotation marks and find SIX sites that all claim to offer Brittney Gilbert Bikini Photos, Brittney Gilbert Fake Nudes Free Thumbails and Brittney Gilbert Blow Job Video.

Now, granted it says “Brittney Gilbert and Britney Spears Blow Job Video” and all six sites point to the same Britney Spears-themed porno page (which I will not point you to and suggest you steer clear of if you don’t want to kill your browser), but STILL! These are results 2-7 on Google for my name?! How did this happen?

Obviously those pages are designed only for the search results they bring in, but that does not resolve my little quandry. Why is my name associated with the likes of ” christina aquilera dirty lyrics or maybe natalie merchant guitar tabs” or “skinny whitney houston crucial to delivering work on new jc whitney coupons”? I’m just a struggling writer with a weblog. I gots no free fake nudes or blow job videos. (Don’t think I didn’t do some serious thinking for a second though.)

So, I wonder what the damn deal is. Because having potential readers or employers or high school classmates wondering if the writing career took a backseat to the web porn thing is no good. To say the least.

Here’s hoping this post about Brittney Gilbert Blowjob Video and Brittney Gilbert Bikini Photos will someday out-rank that misrepresentative porn site out there tarnishing up my perfectly good name. Then people will know the truth about Brittney Gilbert.

Which is that Brittney Gilbert will let everyone know when there are Brittney Gilbert Fake Nudes.

13 comments ↓

#1 mikro on 10.06.03 at 10:03 am

Well, it looks like they all say, “Interested in fake Brittney Spears nudes, Brittney Gilbert?” and things like that, which gave me the impression that these cats have pages and pages that say, “Interested in fake Brittney Spears nudes, Brittney Gilbert? Interested in fake Brittney Spears nudes, Brian Gilbert? Interested in fake Brittney Spears nudes,Jimmy Gilbreaux, &c.”

Still, I can see how that would inspire some heavy paranoia.

#2 pyrimyd on 10.06.03 at 10:10 am

I have a friend with nude pictures of Tor Johnson and another friend with Photoshop. I could make a few calls if you want.

#3 Vidiot on 10.06.03 at 2:15 pm

…and this post will only serve to push you higher in the Google pageranks…

#4 dana on 10.06.03 at 4:39 pm

I’ve got two words for you, Brittney:

Gaussian blur.

#5 Shawn on 10.06.03 at 5:18 pm

you do realize that by writing about it on your page, that it will be indexed, of course that can be a good thing to prospective employers, etc. I had titled my Page Tooheyworld…pissing on the wind…what a mistake that was. I was getting upwards to 75 ppl a day looking for pissing porn pics…not my cup of tea to say the least

#6 KarenCarpenterIsGod on 10.06.03 at 6:40 pm