Dear the 50-60 of you a day who come here in search of the real Paris Hilton sex video,
Cease your search. It’s so not worth it. I saw the 6 meg, night-vision video that features a glowy-eyed, stick figure Paris giving some guy whose hair highlights glowed neon green the worst sex ever featured on film and it is awful. For real. This girl couldn’t fuck if dicks were fire and she was the world’s only water source. Which is total nonsense, I know, but wholely symbolizes the pointlessness of your search.
Abandon ship. Look no longer. There is no coke-ridden hotel heiress writhing in ecstasy or even drooling in drunkeness–just some slightly buzzed blonde with a boy’s body stopping mid-way through the most pitiful fuck seen on screen to answer her fucking cell phone.
Pet your cat. Take a walk. Trim your cuticles. Anything.
Anything, I promise, is more sexually titilating than that total yawner.
Spoiled milk, you ask? Sexier than Paris.
26 comments ↓
Forgetting to flush (I ask)?
i’d comment, but i’m too busy trimming my cuticles.
hello fellow piler! awww leave for paris alone. everyone is a critic!
what? the famous hilton is no good? Please link us so we can decide for
ourselves!
Mike, I think this is it.
Oooph. Now i want to see it… Link! Link!!
Dear Brittney:
I think I love you.
You pal,
Ben
So what am I so afraid of?
I’m afraid that I’m not sure of
A love there is no cure for
You are a scary monster sometimes.
*beep beep*
Damn, I just watched it and that doesn’t look like fun…I bet putting it on the web was the only way he could get revenge for all the hoops she probably made him jump through.
[comment deleted by webmaster]
Hey W-
Trolling is never pretty. Let’s keep the insults (and poor grammar) confined to a centralized, undisclosed location. Shall we?
Seen it. The pikachu porn got me more worked up than Paris. Doesn’t anyone have sex with the lights on anymore?
Oh, and Bush/Cheney ‘04
Please link it! i am desperate to see paris! I cant afford a plane ticket
so the next best way to see paris is on the internet right?
hey brittney, since you haven’t “leaked” your sex tape, it’s the best we have.
Think I’ll upload it again…
nikko
Sooooooo….it’s not good?
http://www.littleyellowdifferent.com/miniblog/archives/week_2003_11_09.php#001928
“This girl couldn’t fuck if dicks were fire and she was the world’s only water source.”…
hasn’t she ever heard of a mirror?
Heard of a mirror? I’ll bet she spends most of her life staring into one. Albeit down the length of a straw.
I thought it was just outtakes from “The Matrix:Reloaded”.
Trust me, it is very bad. She is not even sexy, she is more concerned about posing for the camera, even taking the camera into the other room to show her breasts better… and if that is a blow job she was giving, I must give hurricane blows.
It was pathetic. She kept looking at the camera and she did answer her cell phone.
VVERY VERY BAD
you guys wanted it to be sexy???!?!?
it’s supposed to be humilating, not sexy, you fools.
and at that, it’s perfectly adequate.
I was looking for a girl i know. Her name is Brittney. I got the wrong site, but this one is pretty interesting. It was a good idea to just come up with an every-day-life website, its pretty cool. Well, good luck.
One more thing, why would everyone come here to look for that porno? What’s this place have to do with it?
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