Let me tell you about this one time at an Outback Christmas party. The Christmas party that happened about three days before I quit.
My first year working at Outback, when I was a wee 20 years old, the Christmas party was this extravagent dress-up affair. It was held at the Vanderbilt Stadium Club and there was free liquor and beer until it ran out. Everyone got fancy cocktail dresses and smoked and drank and ate and danced and were generally extraordinarily shitfaced. Real fun.
Fast forward to six, long years later, to a party in a single room, crammed with about 100 people. At a local bar. The All-American Sports Bar. Drinks were $5 each and built for you by a seriously pissed off bartender. Who was plainly an idiot. This chick was selling drinks hand over fist to a room full of SERVERS AND BARTENDERS and was being a first class cunt rag. Servers also know full well how not to tip.
Anyway, my manager gave out raffle tickets to employees who brought in Toys for Tots donations. The more toys you brought the more tickets you accumulated. Six big winners were selected after DVDs and ghetto blasters were given away to the people who brought in the most toys in efforts to score mad goods. (It worked.) The big-ass grand prize, for which six lucky people would compete, was hyped by my manager as the most awesome, mindblowing prize one could ever receive. I actually got a little excited when my name was called. I waited in a huddle with the other lucky winners, $5 vodka gimlet in my hand, when he led us all to another room. After a brief countdown he opened the doors and the lucky winners began running in and screaming. I was sort of last in line and not so much screaming.
Once inside, I saw that there was cash. Not much left of it, mind you, but a couple of fives and twenty or so one dollar bills littered the pool table and the chairs and the floor. I scooped up a few bills while holding firmly onto my drink. I got $4 or so when I looked up to see my manager laughing and jumping up and down. For him, this was what Chirstmas parties were all about. Watching his employees crawl on the ground shrieking and groping wildly for a few measley bucks.
I went back to my chair feeling ashamed. What had just happened? Had my manager really just broken down $100 into small bills and strewn them about for his $2.13/hr. underlings to snatch maniacally? My $4 grand prize was certainly appreciated–hell that is 4/5ths of a cocktail–but the way in which I had to acquire it suprised and embarrassed me.
My manager could not stop bragging in the following days about how much fun the grand prize game was. He’d loved it. He couldn’t wait to do it bigger and better next year. Luckily, I didn’t stick around to see if maybe I could scrounge around on my hands and knees for $5 next Christmas.
9 comments ↓
If you haven’t seen the move “Penn and Teller Get Killed” you really should. There’s a scene where Teller is dropping coins into somebody else’s slot machine in Vegas. Penn whips the people up into a frenzy asking people if they’re really going to take that from somebody who is mocking capitalism, mocking America itself.
The gamblers start off a bit confused about why they should care if some goof wants to give them free money, but before long everybody is in full on riot mode flinging coins at each other.
Your post made me think of that.
Wow. I always wondered if that whole mess was as lame as i thought it was. Phew! Now i’m really glad i didn’t bring any toys for those damned tots.
Those were ones and fives? Jeez! I just assumed they were twenties and fifties…
-snort-
That shit ain’t right yo. I envision your ex-manager as some grubby asshole…maybe a big, fat Leo, who was always hitting on the cute, and maybe even semi-cute waitresses. Maybe he was the exact opposite, but that shit still ain’t right, yo.
This reminded me of a similar experience, but without the Mr. Burns-esque scramble for cash.
Our Christmas party went from a rather nice affair one year to the dark basement of a local bar the next.
The office manager and our 65 year old receptionist especially liked the stripper that came out toward the end. Reeaal classy.
It sounds like your life sucks a lot. Too bad.
I had my first food service Christmas party experience this past year, with Sarah and her bros. There was this really sad death march of a door prize scene, where EVERYONE’s name was drawn and EVERYONE was given the choice of a Tower gift card and a [sandwich store] logo jacket, sweatshirt, backpack, or golf shirt. The manager looked like he died a little inside every time someone chose the gift card.
Office Christmas parties are good, though. Free liquor, free food, and I one a TV last year! Yeeee!
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Wow I had no idea it had been done… some people really are that cruel.
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