Randomness:
-I’m sick. All different kinds of sick. I woke up this morning with a horrible sore throat, swollen glands in my neck and hurty ears. But I sucked it up and got dressed and drove the half-hour to work. On the way up I felt really, really tired, but figured that your sixth shift in a row can do that to you. But while parking I got really dizzy and felt faint walking the block down the street to work. I had to stop and prop myself up on a tree, thinking I was going to puke right there on 32nd Ave. I managed to make it in, but immediately grabbed a chair once inside. Five minutes later I was barfing in the bathroom, trying my best not to pass out and smash my head on the toilet. I was sent home as soon as I felt I could drive.
Now I feel totally fine, except for the sore throat.
-I could do without that Joss Stone girl. In fact, I kind of want to strangle her with her own vocal cords. That “Fell in Love with a Boy” song. Holy total ass-ness. Every time I hear it (Twice a day, everyday! Thanks satellite radio at work!) I have the urge to sucker punch whoever’s nearest me. I hate it that badly.
-It shouldn’t bother me that my boyfriend can open a bra hook with one hand, but it does. I rather used to enjoy all the fumbling. (Other complaints: None.)
-I suck at crossword puzzles and have never completed one.
-I put a product called Henna ‘n’ Placenta on my hair 4 days ago. My hair still looks and feels awesome, and the idea of squeezing afterbirth onto my head was exhilerating. Highly recommended.
-I think I will start a another weblog that solely features movie reviews. As a way to write (self-publish) more reviews. Let’s hope this goes better than the South Beach Diet blog.
-My roommates are moving out. The VCB is staying here but Skurvy and the Stephanie are moving away. After a brief stop in Memphis, the Stephanie will board a train that will take her to Utah where she will be a barista for the summer and hang out with her best friend Berman. Skurvy will also take a train, but his will go to Portland. From Portland he will get on his bike and ride it across the country in 3 months time. Just because. Skurvy rides his bike everywhere he goes and has been training for this trip for months. On Saturdays when we are all sleeping in he gets up and rides his bike 30-40 miles. Skurvy is skinny. Anyway, today is his birthday and one of their last nights in town so we are all going to Ru San’s for sushi. The Kids (what the VCB and I call Skurvy and the Stephanie) are strict vegetarians, and Ru Sans has lots of veggie options, so that’s the place. I tend to like my sushi more low-key and less circus-y, but this will be a fun change of pace. It is apparently a place to look and be fabulous, or whatever, and while that is totally not my style, I do like to rock a pair of high heels and dangly earring occasionally. I’m looking very forward to tonight.
-My father the fire fighter once told me that putting mustard on fresh burns is one of the best ways to heal them and soothe the pain. I’ve been putting mustard on burns ever since. Last night I almost dropped the baked salmon and grabbed the 400 degree pan with my un-mitted hand. The mustard cooled the burn immediately and today there is barely a mark. Thought you should know that, too, for the next time you accidentally graze a hot iron.
-Brie is my favorite cheese in all the land.
-My sister is getting married.
-When someone asked the VCB the other day when we are getting marrid he said: “As soon as we get a coupon for it.”
-Sometimes the chef and cooks at work sing a song called “Doo Doo on the Walls.” I do not know where this song came from, but I do know that it is an awesome song. They are all great singers except for the Nigerian dishwasher guy just who sort of wails in the background. “Doo Doo on the Walls” is the funniest song I’ve ever heard, and I wish I could share it with you.
-Gmail bartering is the new thing. “I’ll trade you a pack of Smarties, a corn dog and a hand-job for a gmail account if you tell your future invite to invite the guy I didn’t invite, because the other guy I did invite sent me nude pics of this girl he invited.”
16 comments ↓
Joss Stone is awful. I hear they play her shite for the Iraqi POWs, which clearly and blatantly contravenes the tenets of the Geneva Convention.
And where does one get marriage coupons? I’d like six, please.
“Afterbirth”. Hmmmmm. Neat word. Grody meaning. I don’t wish to use a shampoo that reminds me of my cat Soleil Moon Frye (or the real person Soleil Moon Frye, for that matter) giving sloppy birth. Just kills my appetite, and I gotta use up a huge amount of guacamole in about three days so it doesn’t get weird.
Your use of words makes me happy, though.
Get well.
I’ll trade you a pack of Smarties, a corn dog and a hand-job for a gmail account
As a (transplanted, but enthusiastic) Texan, I think it’s only fair to let you know that you had me at “corn dog.”
Here ya go! Be sure to invite me to the wedding.
I love you, Brittney. I just had to say it one more time. Reasons this time:
- The tip about that Placenta hair stuff. I have curly hair too so maybe it’ll help.
- “my favorite cheese in all the land”
- The tip about the mustard.
- “It is apparently a place to look and be fabulous, or whatever”
- “When someone asked the VCB the other day when we are getting married he said: ‘As soon as we get a coupon for it.’”
Hey hey hey.
Thought I’d point you towards this — 3. Removing the Bra. Was nudged in this direction via Big Pink Cookie, and thought the coincidence to timely to go unnoted.
We love our Ru Sans here in the ATL. And they love us.
Henna n’ Placenta
Reminds me of a product that Jay and I decided to market a while back: Anise Seeds ‘n’ Sugar Beads, a mass marketed version of that shit at Indian restaurants that nobody likes.
we had satellite radio at my old job and i just about fell in love with ripping the damn speaker units out and tossing them at a customer every time they would play that damn joss stone song. cool blog.
Nausea? Extreme fatigue? Rapidly evaporating symptoms? Time for EPT.
As someone who got an XM radio unit the month the satellites went hot, someone is misunderstanding the concept. The radio-master should avail themselves of some of the other 120 odd stations, rather than locking it down on just one. There have to be at least 15 or more stations that would be perfectly appropriate for a restaurant, and all of them commercial free.
Having access to such a cornucopia of music and only using one channel shows a severe lack of intellect and taste, and quite possibly may be a violation of their Terms of Service as well.
Be glad you’re not listening to broadcast, where you would hear that song every 1.5 hours as opposed to every 4.
So removing the bra one-handed, the way you worded it, I take it he learned this skill while with you? Or are you saying he’s always had it and you miss the fumbling from other guys? If he learned it with you, congratulations, your caterpillar is turning into a sexual butterfly.
>>Nausea? Extreme fatigue? Rapidly evaporating symptoms? Time for EPT.
I hate to say it, but For Rent may be onto something here. You and the VCB may have a cute lil’ bun bakin’ in the oven, despite any precautions you may be taking. I recommend that you find out for certain–not only would that require some immediate medical attention, but it would suggest some profound changes forthcoming in both your lives.
Man, oh man. The internet is always wanting me to get pregnant.
I puked because I had severe nasal drainage (aka snot) and nothing but a gut full of black tea. I was on my period the day I got sick–not to mention the fact that I am on a highly effective method of birth control.
If we need a coupon to get married, we’ll need a triple coupon deal to breed.
“The internet is always wanting me to get pregnant.”
FINE I’LL JUST STOP POSTING THEN
Black tea? I thought that was supposed to settle the tummy, not make it worse. Guess not. Feeling better, I hope.
Hating on Joss Stone’s version is fine. But the song it is based on… the White Stripes original “Fell In Love With A Girl” is above reproach.
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