I thought I’d share with you a couple of conversations I’ve had in the past 24 hours.

How to Tell You’re in Tennessee

Last night, on the phone with the VCB:

VCB: You still at Mark’s?
Me: No, I’m at the grocery store already.
VCB: Wow, it sure is quiet.
Me: Yeah, I know. I’m in the vegetarian section.

How to be Made to Feel like a Racist Asshole

Earlier at work today:

Me: I’m sorry, gentleman, but we’ve had to close. Due to Vanderbilt’s graduation this morning we were enormously busy. So much so that we had to close our kitchen in order to prepare for the dinner rush. Although you are free to have a drink at the bar.
Guy #1: You are closed? (looking around the dining room)
Me: I’m afraid so. Sorry.
Guy #1: Oh, I see. I am not wearing my black tie.
(Guy #2 and #3 enter.)
Guy #1: She won’t serve us!
(All three men turn and leave.)
Guy #3, just before he exits: Because we are Mexican!

*sigh*

And with all the twat-y, monogrammed bleach blondes climbing into their fleet of Lexi* (everybody drove seperately, natch) it’s no wonder they thought so.

*Lexi is, to me anyway, the plural of Lexus.