Minute Migration

So, check it out, I’m moving. The VCB and I are moving out of our janky, overpriced three-bedroom house in nasty ol’ Murfreesboro. This week we signed a lease for a seriously adorable one-bedroom apartment inside an old brownstone building. It’s little, but I fell in love with it. I cartwheeled through the living room screaming down to the VCB who was coming up the stairs, “GET IN OUR NEW HOME!”

It’s well-lit with fresh new carpet, and a back balcony and a backyard surrounded by hedges for private summertime sunbathing. The VCB was thoroughly impressed with the fancy new gas stove. We have washer and dryer connections in a building just out back, which might mean in a few months: “YAY! No more hauling bags full of dirty clothes to the laundromat!” The place has got a lot of charm and an archway instead of a doorway and it’s just a block from a small park on a great street in a really safe and pretty part of town.

We went to swanky town (aka Belle Meade) to the landlord’s house to sign the lease. It was this surpsingly woodsy terraced log cabin-type thingy filled to the fucking brim with dead animals. They were hanging, their eyes glazed and defeated, on every wall. The wall we faced while signing the pages of paperwork featured six buck heads in a shoehorn pattern. From my chair I saw a dozen or so geese all flying in the same still direction. A stuffed fox held a stuffed quail or something in it’s bared, open mouth. Under th epool table was a bear skin rug.

In the silence of the reading and the page turning and the in-brain figure totalling the VCB says out of nowhere, “So, you’re a vegetarian?”

Rather than laugh I tried to gauge our new landlord’s reaction to what my boyfriend just said. This is obviously a very serious man. He likes to kill and has the guns with which to do so. I thought of my cutie new apartment and how I did not want to have to settle for a duplex with bars on the windows. And how I already missed it.

After, seriously, a full minute our landlord laughed his ass off.

We have keys and can begin moving in immediately. Photos to come.