“Does the Greek omelet come with scrambled eggs?”
“Do you have a policy against serving uncooked meat?” [He wanted raw steak.]
“Do you have any crackers? She (pointing to her child) likes to crush them up.”
“Is the Chicken Minestrone vegan?”
“If I get an iced coffee with extra ice, do I have to pay extra for the extra ice?”
“Take this bread off my plate.”* [After surveying the table for an extra empty saucer or anything I came to the conclusion I’d have to take the bread off her salad with my hands. So I did.]
“What is the name of that restaurant on West End that has been there forever that all the ladies go to?” [She could provide no further information.]
“Are you from Buffalo?” [Um, no.]
“Did you guys get this meatloaf from the freezer department?” [Insulting bitch.]
“Can you get them to wrap my burger in baby spinach?” [Fuck you very much, Mr. Atkins.]
*Not so much a question.
6 comments ↓
Yep. Sounds about right. When I used to be in the biz we had this really, really obeastly lady who would always come in and ask to speak to the manager the minute she stepped in the door. She’d then ask said manager if she could get a burger cooked rare. And I mean RARE. She’d send it back if it was overdone. Back when I was cooking - I’d refuse and make the managers come back and do it themselves. In order to “cook” it just right you had to set it on the grill for 5 seconds on each side. It would bleed right through the bun. Sometimes it even moved. In the twilight years of my food service career, when I had become a manager, I would simply run away screaming, hands over head, as any good manager should in that scenario.
Yow. The only stupid question i get asked is “I got, uh, sixty-eight cents, what kinda beer can i get for that?”
Customers suck.
“Can you get them to wrap my burger in baby spinach?”
I hate it when they refer to food as “Baby” whatever. It makes me feel like I’m chowing down on toddlers at the day care center.
“Is your burger tiny, like baby spinach is tiny? Smaller than a meatball, perhaps? Then, no, because baby spinach is tiny like a baby.”
Tell them baby spinach only comes with the veal.
If they actually get the joke I’ll send you a dollar.
So…well…does the Greek omelette come with eggs?
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