If you ingest the following items in the span of a few short hours you will wake up at 4:30 in the morning and puke your whole guts up until the veins in your face explode:
Jose Cuervo
Coors Light
Red Bull
Strawberry Vodka
Marlboro Lights
pigs in a blanket
Purple Pucker
merlot
chips and salsa
True story. Pictures to follow. PICTURES ARE HERE.
12 comments ↓
If you cut out the Purple Pucker, and switch to, oh, American Spirits, the veins in your face should remain intact next time, at least until sunrise.
The pigs in a blanket were a good call, though. I should try that.
I didn’t know that, but I did learn consuming anything from Starbucks and a Red Bull along w/ a Newport within the same hour will have you praying to the toilet gods.
Cleaning out your cupboard, huh? Wow.
I see protein and carbs but no veggies. Perhaps some roughage would help next time. At least the food would go out the way it’s supposed to. Sure beats chummin’.
(WTF is “Purple Pucker” anyway? As a rule, I try to stay away from foods/drinks that don’t give at least a hint of what’s in them.)
…or as we call it, “Saturday Night”…
please, no pictures of veins exploding, gut-puking. i’ll die of grossed-outness (it’s a word now).
That Emily is a looker.
I learned today that certain individuals in the naval medical community give themselves an IV drip prior to, and after heavy drinking. I’m not sure how that tidbit is particularly relevant. I just found it interesting…or indicative of a larger problem perhaps.
That IV thing is true, the only catch isyou need skilled medical professionals to adminster the IV, and usually the people who talk about the IV thing are too drunk to actually do it.
And they know better than to ask me about it. Ugh.
A few bits of homespun wisdom:
One, if you plan on drinking different types of liquor, always move down in alcohol content (ie, start with the Cuervo, then the Purple Pucker, then Merlot, then the Silver Bullet.
Two, stop drinking foofy la la lady drinks. You will NEVER vom if all you drink is Rye whiskey and lots of it. (don’t quote me on that, though)
Finally, Marlboro Lights are gross. Smoke Camels like a real American!
If you eat some butter before bed it will make it all come out easier.
Good Lord. You are lucky to be alive. A pint of draino wouldn’t be out of place on that list of poison.
looks like the cameraperson was drunk, too :)
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