Things I Overheard While I Worked Today’s Lunch Shift
Table Number 24
Lady With The Horsey Laugh: “Yeah, girl, she is a Life Coach!:
Lady Who Got All Uptight About Her Straw: “Oh God, is she any good?”
LWTHL: “Oh yeah, girl, she is a great Life Coach, but her morals are out of whack. She is sleeping with her client’s teenaged son. And she has a teenaged son of her own, who, it turns out, she’s been having an incestuous affair with. Her son finally stopped the affair. She got so mad she gave all his clothes away to the homeless.”
LWGAUAHS: “And she’s a Life Coach?”
LWTHL: “Yeah, girl, Cathy swears by her.”
Table Number 28
Blonde And Newly Signed Country “Artist”: “I know this is going to sound weird, but can you ask the kitchen to measure out exactly three ounces of chicken? I’m on a very restrictive diet. That is all I want. Three ounces of grilled chicken. And don’t worry, I don’t mind paying the $10.50.”
(later, after asked about dessert)
BANSCA: “I have to get out of here. I have to go get famous.”
Table Number 5
Guy Without A Single Clue: “Can I get a caramel Frappacino?”
S, Guy’s Waitress: “We don’t actually have the stuff to make that drink, but I can make you an iced coffee.”
GWASC: “Will it come with caramel and mocha and all that? Blended?”
S, GW: “No, I’m sorry. It won’t.”
Table Number 22
Lady With The Bruised Mouth: “Liposuction? You had it?”
Lady Drinking The Kir Royale: “Yes, and it hurts like fucking hell, but not more than you will like how it looks. I definitely think you should get it done too.”
6 comments ↓
Table 24 was talking about what was once the best non-animated show on Television, Nip/Tuck. However, as indicated by the contrived storyline your patrons were discussing, it is coming dangerously close to jumping the shark this season. Check it out for yourself Tuesday nights at 9 on F/X.
Ha ha ha, I’m going to start saying “I have to go get famous” every time I leave a room from now on.
Brittney, you overheard wonderful things and you are a delightful young lady.
“Brittney, you overhear wonderful things.” Not overheard. Well, maybe both.
Ah fuck it, I have to go get famous.
people are stupid! & gross! and grossly stupid!
p.s. another great way to tap in on normal conversation is to use a police scanner, you can pick up cordless phones in your neighborhood.
my wife and I heard:
1.) teens selling guns (later arrested)
2.) adulteress wife talking to boyfriend
3.) confessions to god
3.) old ladies talking about the wheather
but for the most part people just say stupid sh@t about nothing all d@mn day!
sorry I am so negative, I have a head cold! pitty me d@mmit!
isn’t it good to have something to entertain yourself with during the day? you make me laugh like i probably shouldn’t (especially at work)… so, i’m linking you from my site. :)
muy faboo
as ever,
heather
You’re not making this up are you? Hilarious! :) I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post.
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