(I just finished watching the second 2004 Presidential debate. I also just finished a vodka and tonic.)

First of all I want to send MAD LOVE to the lady in the audience with the American flag shirt on. You, Flag Shirt Lady, probably thought long and hard about what you would wear on national t.v. You decided to wear the American flag shirt to the debate after much debate. You wanted to stand out. Let me tell you Flag Shirt Lady, you really did. Oh say can you see, you really did.

I would also like to start by pointing out that Bush did way, way better this time around. Sure, what he was saying was lie after failed joke after lie, but he completed most of his sentences. He didn’t look like a short busser stuck on pause. He didn’t look like a kid in a booster chair stuck behind a lecturn like during the last debate. He looked eager. He looked parched. But he wasn’t drooling and stuttering and so people are going to be all, “LOOK! HE WON! Bush gets a cookie!”

Kerry was more passionate and eloquent this bout, calling Bush out on lies and boasts about boosting jobs and homeland safety and the environment. He was steadfast and unyielding. Bush was better than he was before, but Kerry was just as great as he was the first time around. And that is what he needs. To counter the Republican’s only charge against him: that he is inconsistent. By being great–the same great that he was the first round–he makes the flip-flopper charge look pretty flimsy.

Here are other thoughts, at random:

-The lack of a constant split-screen was to Kerry’s detriment. Bush didn’t smirk as much as before, but he did grind his teeth all night like he did a fat rail before hitting the stage. A president who chews his cud might be a president to let out to pasture.

-Bush called this here thing “the internets.” Plural. Gore invented the motherfucking thing, and this asshole can’t even pronounce it.

-I’m really, really glad they talked about Supreme Court nominations. That is one of the most pertinent issues to me in determining who wins this election. If Bush is elected and 3-4 justices resign as is projected, then women in this country will be forced to have a child if they become pregnant. Count on it. I don’t want to even think about what other travesties might take place. Note Bush joked about the question when asked.

-And that is another thing. It was highly amusing to watch Bush tell limp joke after limp joke and having them each fail. You’d think Bill Cosby was onstage during Bush’s campaign speeches thanks to his ass-licking hand-picked audience members. At tonight’s debate there were a couple of sympathy laughs. But mostly silence. I may have even heard an audible groan. Then Kerry totally killed when he joked about Charles Gibson not getting a tax break under his plan due to his $200,000+ a year salary. Because that was actually funny. [Hey! You need some wood?]

-How many times, I wonder, did Bush say, “That’s just the way it is.” That’s just the way it is?! You can’t say that in a debate! That is about as good as, “Because I said so.”

-Near the end Bush said, “Thank you all. It was enjoyable.” His face said, “Fuck you all. Tonight was freaking hell. I need a beer.”

-In Bush’s defense, he did call the terrorists “haters.” That was pretty cool. Except I think he spells it “haterz.” With a ‘z’.