Dear Middle Aged Ladies Who Dine Out,
Bitches, you are trying my patience. Daily. So, I thought maybe I should fill ya’ll in on some things that will make your dining experience easier for you and easier for me. It’s win-win, so listen up.
If you are dining with six of your closest girlfriends and you would like to each pay seperately, it wouldn’t hurt to let your server know that. It’s only polite. Don’t wait until the check comes, when you are full of desert and ready to go, to tell your server you need seperate checks. If you tell your server up front then she can take the proper means necessary to divide the checks in the computer for ease of payment later. Because when you wait until meal’s end, your server is standing at a calculator trying to remember who ordered what appetizer and calculating sales tax for each individual ticket. Had you only said so in advance, your check would be ready when you are finished.
Also, seriously ladies, don’t you have anything smaller than a twenty? I mean, for real. Other people seem to make an effort, but you see that your bill is $6.02 (because you had water and a soup and salad) and slap down a twenty. If you would quit talking about the one friend who wasn’t able to make it to dinner and pay attention, you would notice servers don’t walk around with money tills. If all 7 of you have a twenty, I’m going to be in the office for ten minutes getting change from my manager. You always seem to do this when you are late for "Miss Saigon."
Oh, and ladies, those handbags with your initial on them: So. Over.
BFF,
Brittney
8 comments ↓
lay dem’ bitches out girl friend!
oh yea, one more stupid sexist comment,
This comes to mind with your latest obsession with food, (sugary cereals, funnelcakes)…
when my wife was your age she used to wear a bikini, & she, like you, looked totally hot (vegas pics?).
now she has grown long in the tooth, those days are long gone. luckily I was in love with
her personality so it is not a deal breaker.
But like I mentioned she is heavier.
now I am sure lots of guys say dirty stuff to you all the time, but you really need to take some seducive art photos while you are young and pretty. you know nude ones.
I know I seem like a perv or something but
Most women peak out physically around 18-24
then things start to change. Women are beatiful thier whole lives don’t get me wrong, but noone is immune to time and the effects of aging.
let me know if I can help or even have your boyfriend do it if he is a good artist, I don’t even want to see them, but you might when your 45
That was HILARIOUS.
Bart - How inappropriate. You’re grody!
You have no idea how high the “please give me naked pictures of you” bar has been set for this woman, Bart. No idea whatsoever.
U SUCK BART!
I’m the only one that gets to say what people should masturbate to, young lady. YOU ARE IN CONTEMPT OF DIDDLETRY.
I beg your forgiveness…
just in my defense, I said I didn’t want to see them.
and I haven’t choked the chicken in about 6 months to a year.
I also deleted my llink to this page
so I wouldn’t bother anyone any more. But damn my job is boring!!!, I really have nothing else interesting happening… so here I am
I vaguely remember when I was 18, had all my hair & was like 50 lbs lighter. girls would lean out of car windows and yell woo woo out thier car windows. now I have lost my hair, gained weight and my face has started to droop. I miss being that cool young guy. I also like to take pictures of things that are beutiful, and young people don’t realize the beauty that is right in front of thier face. They are cocky and think it will last forever. they need to reval in it, or at least be aware, those are good times that only come once.
Leave a Comment