When I was in high school I owned this ugly pair of green sunglasses that I wore everyday. I loved them so much I’d keep them on a few extra minutes after I entered a building. Naturally, I lost them, because if I’m good at anything it’s losing shit.
I turned my house upside down looking for those sunglasses. I was disturbed by their disappearance, I couldn’t imagine where they had gone. I looked everywhere, and after days of searching I was desperate if only to prove to myself I wasn’t insane.
In the mornings before school I would sit cross-legged in the doorway of my closet and put on makeup. One morning after giving up on ever finding the glasses, I rummaged through my Caboodle makeup organizer and pulled out the green sunglasses. I tucked them into a zippered part of my backpack immediately.
The next morning, again sitting in front of the full-length mirror on my closet door, undoubtedly applying way too much eyeliner I pulled out a pair of green framed sunglasses identical to the ones I’d lost then found. I was stunned. Floored, actually, but went immediately to my backpack. I found the green sunglasses I’d found the day before exactly where I left them. I held in my hands two pair of identical sunglasses.
I told everyone who listen at school that day, and showed them both pairs. I was a big, fat liar as a kid (some would call me a storyteller) so I don’t think anybody believed me. Hell, I hardly believed me.
I carried around both pair for about a year and a half. I lost one pair and then the other, never sure which was which.
And while I was a big, fat liar as a teenager I’m an adult now–an adult with a journalism degree–I can’t just be making shit up. If I have ever told the truth on this blog it is TODAY. That was the single most Lynchian event of my entire life. Those who know me know I wouldn’t say that if it was based on a lie.
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Give me back my phone.
I cannot remember the title of it, though I think it was something really easy like “A Matter of Time”. The Twilight Zone that explained that whenever you lose something, chances are the little blue people that “build” every second of time misplaced it, sometimes they remember and put it back and that’s why you find things in weird places. I guess they gave you 2 pairs in case they lose one again.
I believe you.
i love you…
About your dad (re: your thought for the day)…
I don’t know everything your dad has done so I can’t judge him, but I do know everyone’s done bad things at one point or another, and quite often they want to say “I’m sorry” but simply don’t know how (this is especially bad with men). The guy may have regrets that you’ll never know about, and these regrets may have played a huge part in his need for open heart surgery. It’s amazing how much damage can be done to a body when living with constant turmoil.
I remember when my father had to have quadruple bypass surgery when he was 40. In his case, it was probably a combination of fast livin’ after my parents got divorced and the stress of the various divorce related things that followed. He had his dickhead moments (and still does), but facing death changes not only the person on the operating table but also the folks in the periphery. Now I look at the guy and know that he’s sorry for stuff that he’s done, even though he doesn’t say it verbally. Look hard enough and you can just see it. That’s sometimes all you’ll get, and in my case, it’s enough. He and I get along fine now.
What can you do with the stuff I just said? I have no idea. Maybe nothing.
I guess better green sunglasses than a little blue box eh?
Interdimensional Surfing
I WANT TO BELIEVE
note to self: see it is totally worth coming back to this site everyday…
second note to self: try not to anger people today
note to brittney: hope your dad is ok…):
Damn straight.
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