A sampling of customer responses to the greeting, "Hi.  How are you?":

• "Diet Coke with extra lime."
• "There will be four of us" (usually said while pointing at the empty chairs and menus)
• "What is your soup of the day?"
• "Can we sit over there by the window, we feel this is a lesser table."
• "Do ya’ll have sweet tea?"
• "It’s about time."
• "Give us a minute."
• "What are your merlots by the glass?"
• "Does it seem cold in here to you?"
• "Where is the bathroom?"
• "Is the salmon wild or farm raised?"
• "We have to be at a movie in 45 minutes."
• "What is your name?"
• "We are ready to order."

I have coccydnia, otherwise known as acute tailbone pain.  It started a couple of months ago.  I’d sit down on the floor too fast and pop right back up again from a searing pain in my tailbone.  Occasionally if I was sitting cross-legged and leaned back it would feel really sore right at the tip of my spine.

Well, it’s gotten worse.  In the past three days I have had nearly constant tailbone pain, often stinging and debilitating.  After sleeping fitfully, knowing between dreams that something is definitely wrong with my backside, I woke up pissed and sore.  Getting up to pee in the night was difficult, and when I awoke this morning all I could do was sit and cry at the computer trying to figure out what is wrong with me.

After reading tons of information on the internet I’ve learned that my pain could be caused by any number of things and that the only tried and true cure is surgery.  A few people claim acupuncture and massage and exercise have worked for them, but most everyone who is "cured" has their tailbone removed.  I could have spurs on my coccyx (tailbone) or it could be misaligned, malformed or too long.  My coccyx could be "flipped."  I could have a cyst or scoliosis.  Sometimes it can be caused by the sufferer being too thin, but everybody can just go ahead and cross that cause right on off the list.  Or it could be, my personal favorite, cancer.

The good news is ice and ibuprofen help a little bit.  I’ll try a small dose of a muscle relaxer later to see if that helps.  That bad news is I don’t have health insurance.

It hurts to sit down, my favorite place to be, and I’m not medically insured.  Boy, times are tough for my ass.