- Leave the house with a freshly scrubbed face. Undereye concealer (at least!) is now an absolute must.
- The splits. It’s too bad really, because nothing was better than doing the splits at a party or something. Everyone laughs.
- Eat a shitty, high-fat meal and not feel gross and sleepy the rest of the day.
- Stay up past 2 a.m. I used to leave to go out at 2 a.m. less than two years ago.
- Sleep through the night without getting up to pee.
- Write poetry.
- Work several shifts in a row and not feel like I’ve been badly battered.
- Make it through a whole day without coffee.
- Sing the very high soprano parts.
- Ride a bike without feeling a little bit scared the whole time.
- One-handed cartwheels
- See a baby and not lose my shit, with all the cooing and carrying on.
- Have more than 2-3 drinks without getting absolutely smashed. Or sleepy.
- Fit into a size 6 jeans.
- Shave my legs more than once a week,
- Take Tori Amos seriously.
Things I Am Now Too Old To Do
January 9th, 2005 | Lists
4 comments ↓
Old people can write poetry. Certainly you still can. I feel your pain about the drinking. I once drank 7 adios mothers in a single sitting and continued to party. Now, at 37, I have 3 drinks and I’m done for the night.
About staying up past 2am - I think your relationship status is a bigger factor than your age. :)
Wow. I haven’t been able to go a day without coffee since the 4th grade.
But I’ve never been able to do a one-hand cartwheel….
You wouldn’t be able to resist this baby: http://www.ant-in-a-hailstorm.com/alex. Don’t even try.
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