Things I learned today:
- What anisette is.
- That I have a retroverted cervix.*
- That I am "a stupid bitch! LOL!"
- Ben Folds and other local artists are having a Concert for Asia on Valentine’s Day.
- I still really hate sweet potatoes.
- That the girl waiting with me at the doctor likes a boy who "works at Wendy’s and wears Abercrombie and American Eagle, because his Dad can afford it, he’s a lawyer."
- That Bart Durham likes very young girls who take ten whole minutes to order. (I gave him the check because HE…DEMANDS IT!**)
*My gynocologist asked me how I was doing and I told her I was really nervous–I hate pap smears. She assured me today’s would be the easiest one I ever had. Then she got down there and was all, "Uh, forget what I said. There is a reason you hate these. Your cervix likes to hide. It’s tilted toward your back."
**Only funny if you live in or around Nashville and own a television.
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Bart Durham is my sister’s neighbor, in the townhouses right around the corner from [the restaurant where you work]. He has a Ferrari-themed garage. His eyes are two different colors. He demands justice while picking his briefcase up off the counter. I am fascinated.
Also, I really, really like anisette, but I haven’t had it in years.
i grew up in nashville, and when i hear things like “bart durham” it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. incidentally, “bill hall” is my favorite thing to hear in this vein.
I love sweet potatoes. I’d been eating sweet potato pies for more than 10 yrs before I’d even heard of pumpkin pie…
WTF CAN’T YOU EVEN GET THAT RIGHT
NOW I BET YOU’RE GOING TO POST PICTURES AND BE ALL “HEY DOES THIS UTERUS MAKE ME LOOK FAT OR NOT”
What’s really scary is that no one had ever noticed you had an abnormal uterus before this. Kinda makes you wonder how closely previous doctors had checked you out.
There’s something oddly satisfying about knowing you have a physical abnormality, especially in your reproductive tract. I’ve got a large, benign varicocele that actually startles some doctors when they feel it. I once had a urologist bring in some medical students to feel me out while I was in the examining room. Pretty weird to have a roomful of strangers handling your stuff, especially when one of them was a very attractive woman. I had to keep telling myself: Don’t get turned on. She’s a doctor.
Bart Durham is endlessy fascinating to me, too. He keeps his briefcase atop a miniature ionic column in a room full of flowers.
My uterus is tipped too! Tell knewman he must treat you nice and buy you flowers and give you sympathy, because it’s called “uterUS” not “uterI”
Also, I take great pride in telling my doctors that I too have a physical abnomality. My aorta takes a wide turn around my shoulder, and when x-rayed, shows up as a suspicious mass. The first doctor told me I had Hodgkins disease, even discussed my chemo/radiation options (D’oh!) I tell any new doctor this to avoid confusion and they are usually impressed.
You may know this, but Bart Durham is a former professional wrestler, in addition to being a champion of justice.
http://www.bartdurham.com/CM/AboutBart/AboutBart3.asp
Well, shout out to the fellow retroverts. That uterus link was interesting; I didn’t realize it could be undone.
My doc to me: “Nothing to worry about. It’s just like being left-handed.”
Hence, I now think to myself “I have a left-handed uterus,” — a statement which strikes me as creepy, cool, fascinating, and funny… all at once.
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