Nearly two weeks ago Dan challenged me to write this entry. I am just now getting around to it. I think he counts half off if it’s late. Here is his for comparison, but the topic is A List of 5 Things that Society At-large Likes, Yet I Don’t Get:

1. Bananas - I don’t like banana anything. I hate banana milkshakes and banana-flavored candy and banana bread and banana pudding. All gross. Bananas are a food I have hated since the beginning of time. That, and raisins. (Though I always wanted to like raisins as a kid because the Sunmaid ones came in those cute, red boxes. I would try them every couple of years or so when I found the itty red box particularly cute, but would promptly spit them out every time.) I do like the idea of a fruit having such a handy-dandy, easy-to-remove wrapper. That’s pretty neat. But otherwise no way, no banana please, uh uh.

2. "Family Guy" - I am about to offend everybody I know, but that show is dumb. I just can’t get into it. TRUST ME, I’VE TRIED. People my age have found religion in the form of a stuck up, talking baby, and they are ready to tesify and witness and spread the word of "Family Guy". So, I’ve watched my fair share of the show just by living, and ya’ll it’s just not funny. It hurts me even.

3. Dogs - Dear Dogs, Get your sloppy, wet jowels off my new pants, thankyouverymuch. When you sniff my crotch it embarrasses me, and really and truly that is a major violation of my space. At that point you are invading my aura or something like it. I know that you want to jump up on me and give me disgusting mouth love, but you are heavy and your nails are too long and it hurts. Please stop it. And stop chasing me when I ride my bike, I get scared.

4. Cocaine - Sucks. You are an asshole when you are on it, and if you go "Oh, that’s not me" then are then you are a bigger asshole than the rest. I don’t want to listen to you blather on about fucking nothing while your bottom jaw is quivering and you’re chain smoking all up in my face. P.S. Your breath stinks and oh yeah, you’re broke.

5. Nerd Movies - Specifically Star Wars (all bazillion of them) and the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I didn’t see a single Star Wars movie until I was 18 years old, so I didn’t have that childhood nostalgia. I just kept falling asleep. The characters are flat as hell and the dialogue is stilted and I can’t feel a damn thing for any one on screen. Except apathy. Sure it’s pretty and boom-boom, fighty-fighty or whatever. It’s just not my thing. And I’m a big nerd, so isn’t that just a kick in the pants?

I think now I’m supposed to challenge three people to do it. I pick Kafkaesque, Number One Dana and Sarah B.