- I have never successfully completed a crossword puzzle. I’m too impatient. And I never have a pencil.
- When I went in to have my tonsils removed I was four or so. My mom tells me that I was prepped and taken into the operating room, so she went to wait. Several minutes later the doctor came out to meet my mother with me draped across his arms. My lifeless-looking body was limp , my head hanging backward, sagging. Much like a groom carries a bride over the threshold, but with much less effort. When my mother saw us she thought I died. Turns out I just had a really low white blood cell count and they had to delay the surgery.
- My sister breaks my heart. I love her very much.
- I saw Wild at Heart for the first time. I’m going to write more about that very soon. Maybe after seeing it again. I can say this, though: Too many titties.
- The boyfriend always stays up later than me even though he gets up earlier than me. But rather than go to bed I just fall asleep on the couch reading or watching television. Dressed, usually, in whatever I had on when I hit the sofa. He wakes me up, and I follow him bleary eyed to bed when he turns in. I collapse on the bed, jeans on, bra, all of it. The other day I slept in socks, blue jeans, a tank top, a bra, and underwear and on top of that a hoody zipped all the way up. On occasion I won’t wake up so he leaves me on the couch. I usually wake up around 3 am feeling confused and abadoned, and I always ask why he didn’t wake me, even though the answer is always "you wouldn’t move."
- When I worked at Outback Steakhouse the guys would make top ten lists of Prettiest Waitresses or Best Legs and write the names in dry erase marker on the board that was visible to every employee. It was tolerated, even encouraged, by management. Sometimes it would make girls cry.
- Sex education in my rural public middle school was taught by a woman attended my Southern Baptist church. A church that would sneak a scolding about no pants in the sanctuary into the sermon if a woman dared show up in slacks. It was during sixth grade science that we had this so-called sex ed class, but actual sex was never once mentioned during the course. We spent a single day, if I recall correctly, talking about zygotes and fertilization and sperm. No mention of body parts was ever made. Not a single penis or stray fallopian tube anywhere. I honestly think the first time I ever heard this word was when I was sixteen! You won’t be surprised to learn the next year in 7th grade one of my classmates became pregnant. At thirteen. And my senior year I knew two girls who only thought they had two openings in their genitals. Imagine my astonishment that the boyfriend’s class included video and large photos of actual doin’ it and close ups of hoo-hoos. Blows my mind.
- Risotto might be the yummiest thing in all the world.
- I’ll be getting glasses and moving in the next two months. ‘Spensive.
- A guy with a smoking fetish was the major reason I started the habit. Then he got mad at me when I became addicted. (I quit over four years ago.)
Things
June 9th, 2005 | Lists
18 comments ↓
Hmmm, I really should write something interesting random facts like this for my blog… They didn’t even have Sex Ed when I was at school—it was Christian school, so that might have had something to do with it; I’m about the same age btw. Yeah, smoking is gross; I gave up about five year ago as well… It would be interesting to know how many people take it up cos’ their girlfriend/boyfriend smokes. I started (and took it up again after giving up the first time) when I was dating two different girls that smoked—I don’t date smokers anymore, lol. They’ve just brought into effect a “no smoking in public places” law in New Zealand (where I live), like they have in California (where I am at the moment). It’s pretty good, there was a few bars I stopped going to cos’ the smoke used to be so thick in there. Unfortunately, now all the smokers stand outside in the doorway, so you’ve got to walk through a cloud of smoke to get in—but hey, it’s an improvement nonetheless.
we had sex class my junior year in high school, in waverly tennessee, when we were seventeen. that was the first time in the entire curriculum. what was the point?
That is so funny. I love to sleep on the couch, and will not wake up for anything. When I lived with Emily she would ask me 1,000 times to get up and I too would wake up and feel confused. Jack is usually pretty good about getting me up, and me following him crazy feeling. The other night he woke me up and I swear I was awake but still asleep and I remember saying shit that I couldn’t even control and thinking why did I say that. I said something about eating videotapes, I think!
“Too many titties”? Shut yo mouth. ;-)
I’m interested in hearing (reading?) your thoughts on Wild at Heart. I must admit it’s not one of my favorite Lynch movies. It’s not bad, but it felt like something was missing. I don’t know why. Perhaps I expected a lot more from it, considering it came out around the time Twin Peaks was on TV and I was a TP fan. I don’t know.
I was told about sex in Mexico when I was about 10 by my aunt. She even used the classic, right index finger through left hand in form of and “O” to demonstrate the copulation part. It was kinda funny, as she was telling me, I pretended I didn’t already know so she’d keep going. They’re very open about that kinda stuff over there.
Wait, you just saw Wild at Heart for the first time? Wha?! You?!! Whaa!??!?
Aren’t Genitals the non-Jewish people?
So how many openings do you have in your genitals? I’m confused.
Risotto might be the yummiest thing in all the world.
You can’t say that unless you’ve had my nonna’s risotto milanese straight outta lombardi. Your newfangles restaurant risotto don’t come close.
I’m as confused as Dan (even though there should be a big difference in our levels of familiarity).
Are you counting your * as a genital?
That kind of thing only counts on Ann Coulter.
>>Are you counting your * as a genital?
I think that’s one of the best lines I’ve ever read on the Internet. Enquiring minds want to know!
I am. I shoulda said “three holes in your pants”.
Well, that news should certainly bring a smile to The Internet’s face!
Mmmmmm….risotto. You ought to try my husband’s.
Recipe available on my blog.
adiogalaxy
Things
I always wondered why the girls at Outback never made their own lists about the kitchen crew, something along the lines of “worst odor,” “drunkest & stonedest,” or “most likely to be deported.”
^__^
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