I fucking hate the word blog in all its facets. First of all, blog sounds like barf. Or something that has plopped out your butt. Don’t act all prudish like that is not exactly what is sounds like–a blob of something from somewhere gross.

And what is with the word blog also being (part of) the verb? "She blogs." "Ralph is blogging." I mean, what the shit? Take this example for contrast: A blog is somewhat like a book in that it is read. It would be ridiculous to say "She books her book." No! She writes her book.

Here is the shit that really pushes my buttons. Who are the people who blog? They are motherfucking bloggers. So, bloggers blog on their blogs. Is that right? Well, bookers don’t book on their books, so why don’t we bloggers get a little more creative in the naming business. Because some of us have to say these words with a straight face.

"What do you do?," I am often asked. "I am a blogger," I say and watch their eyelids go lax little and their eyebrows come together as they try to make sense of the sounds that just came out of my mouth. The conversation that comes after that is sometimes long, sometimes brief, but nearly always awkward and unsatisfying.

I can’t come up anything better though. I sat here a good three to four minutes and tried. But I open the floor to suggestions.