I Hate the Word Blog, and It Makes My Life Hell

I fucking hate the word blog in all its facets. First of all, blog sounds like barf. Or something that has plopped out your butt. Don’t act all prudish like that is not exactly what is sounds like–a blob of something from somewhere gross.

And what is with the word blog also being (part of) the verb? "She blogs." "Ralph is blogging." I mean, what the shit? Take this example for contrast: A blog is somewhat like a book in that it is read. It would be ridiculous to say "She books her book." No! She writes her book.

Here is the shit that really pushes my buttons. Who are the people who blog? They are motherfucking bloggers. So, bloggers blog on their blogs. Is that right? Well, bookers don’t book on their books, so why don’t we bloggers get a little more creative in the naming business. Because some of us have to say these words with a straight face.

"What do you do?," I am often asked. "I am a blogger," I say and watch their eyelids go lax little and their eyebrows come together as they try to make sense of the sounds that just came out of my mouth. The conversation that comes after that is sometimes long, sometimes brief, but nearly always awkward and unsatisfying.

I can’t come up anything better though. I sat here a good three to four minutes and tried. But I open the floor to suggestions.

23 comments ↓

#1 Jackson on 08.04.05 at 10:18 pm

I couldn’t fucking agree more. (oh and I like this profamity zone).

My mom once likened my blog to vomiting on the internet so maybe blog is appropriate.

Maybe you just need a new title. CBO? “Semantic observer”?

#2 Ariel on 08.04.05 at 10:36 pm

Easy: “Online writer” or “web journalist.”

#3 Chris Wage on 08.04.05 at 10:39 pm

How about “writer”.

If anyone claims bloggers aren’t writers, please ask them to explain, and watch themselves backpedal their way out of it.

#4 Jackson on 08.04.05 at 10:51 pm

Paul Graham released a new essay today. It might be a little on the technical side for a non open source programmer but he covers this very issue.

His suggestion is also “Writer”

Here is the quote of importance:

Actually, the fad is the word “blog,” at least the way the print media now use it. What they mean by “blogger” is not someone who publishes in a weblog format, but anyone who publishes online. That’s going to become a problem as the Web becomes the default medium for publication. So I’d like to suggest an alternative word for someone who publishes online. How about “writer?”

[http://www.paulgraham.com/opensource.html]

#5 Tim W. on 08.04.05 at 11:29 pm

This is a raw post, and I appreciate it very much. Do you mind if I blog this? *whoops!*

Actually, if you check out some online dictionaries (here is a link to Webster’s New Millennium), you will find that “blog” is indeed making its way into verbland in addition to nounhood.

Thanks for bringing this up, Brittney.

Take care, Tim

#6 Marcos on 08.05.05 at 2:48 am

I think the bloggerer should bloog on his weblogue (to make it sound more…archaic?? fancy?? kinda like in shoppe)

#7 Dustin on 08.05.05 at 3:31 am

I never really noticed the word could be a nuisance. But I guess if your as popular as you are then it could become a problem. Anyways, I just recently came across your blog….uh, site and thought I should let you know that I dig it! Take care.

#8 Morgan on 08.05.05 at 10:03 am

If you want the verb form of “blog”, how about “masturbating”?

#9 Patricia on 08.05.05 at 10:04 am

I would like to start a “blog” how do I start?

#10 nicole on 08.05.05 at 1:12 pm

The word always reminded me of swallowing a grape whole. Like, when you try to eat them too fast. And just as painful.

I’m sure that makes tons of sense.

#11 erat on 08.05.05 at 2:09 pm

What’s wrong with “writer”? You can be a writer whose work is published in books, magazines, and newspapers, you can write screenplays and pamphlets (”Common Sense” being one of the more famous examples), etc. Writing is writing. Some do it better than others, but in the end it’s still writing.

For the record, I have no problem with calling these things “blogs.” Until something gets a ridiculous name or acronym (AJAX, anyone?) it seems the subject will remain under everyone’s radar. The idea of “bloggers” and “blogging” does seem silly to me, though.

#12 Bill Hobbs on 08.05.05 at 5:16 pm

Writer. Journalist. Editor. Commentator.

They all work pretty well.

#13 melusina on 08.05.05 at 6:30 pm

My husband and I get a great deal of fun out of the word blog. You can substitute it for any verb for Mad Lib type fun.

A similar thing has happened with Google. It became a verb somehow. Amazing.

#14 paulo on 08.05.05 at 6:33 pm

“I’m a Fucking Rock Star!”

That’s all you need to tell them.

#15 Robert on 08.05.05 at 10:21 pm

I have to agree with Paulo.

The mainstream media is at fault for the proliferation of the word “Blog” … it’s a simple, single syllable term that most of the brainless, TV talking heads and newspaper hacks can use to identify a “writer” of an internet site.

I honestly think the mainstream media uses the word as a slam because they’re pissed that the public at large is infringing on their private club and they, for the most part, missed the boat until it became one of the greatest grassroots phenomenon of our time.

But that’s just my opinion … I could be wrong (or I could have forgotten my medication this morning).

#16 Brian the Red on 08.05.05 at 11:33 pm

Bipedal Lonely Online Gazetteer Giving Effusive Revelations? On second thought, that’s kind of wordy, maybe just use the accronym…

#17 matthew on 08.07.05 at 1:11 pm

brittney, i have read every entry in your “blog.” all of them. quite easily, you can declare yourself a “writer.” true, blogs have become the puke bucket for Everyman to spew. in your case, doll, claim your title, and let the rest fend for themselves.

#18 riffraff on 08.07.05 at 8:04 pm

I couldn’t agree more. The term “blog” just seems to stiffle intelluctual dialog. Soooo, Brit, what are you wearing today?

#19 the Gas Guy on 08.08.05 at 3:52 am

I just like “writer.”

#20 Serrabee on 08.09.05 at 8:35 pm

How about “unpublished writer”. Most anyone who gets paid to write doesn’t blog for free. Except losers at newspapers who do blog. Yes, they are losers cause I’ve read the crap they write.

#21 just on 08.10.05 at 9:15 pm

though i agree somewhat in the dislike of the term, your compairisons don’t really work.

as you know, blog is a concatenation of weblog- a log on the web. you can read a log, you can activly log, be a logger, etc.

so as you see, the word log/weblog/blog is much more versitile than the word book and makes perfect sense to be used in the context of bolg/blogger/blogging, unlike the work book that your compairing it to.

#22 just on 08.10.05 at 9:23 pm

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=banish

#23 apathetic on 08.19.05 at 7:57 pm

Brittney, you are a writer.

I’d blame so many blog purists for getting the word out into the mainstream media. I’m talking about those who promote the buzzword which only describes a particular form of web site. In fact, we know that “bloggers” are simply those people who choose to publish their writing online.

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