Our house was broken into yesterday while I was at work. While the
boyfriend was at work. During the broad daylight hours some punk jumped
the fence, busted out the back bedroom window and stole our stuff.
Granted, they stole some pretty lame stuff. Here is what the thief got
away with:

-the boyfriend’s cell phone
-1/2 a bottle of $10 shiraz
-3/4 of a bottle of Jose Cuervo tequila
-2 spare keys
-3 Red Bulls (embarrassing, but true–I have a caffeine habit)
-Tootie’s leash (which we recovered)

The burglar jumped through the broken window and ransacked our
bedroom, the door of which was closed. He tossed our mattress and
pulled open dressers, we assume looking for guns. The entire time our dog Tootie was
on the other side of that door, undoubtedly barking and making all
sorts of horrific noises. Once they were through thrashing our room
(which was covered in glass, all surfaces), they opened the door and
grabbed the items I listed above. Except for the leash, which they
snagged on the way in, we think. I just find it odd that the thief
would look in the fridge, where the energy drinks were. All of the
things taken, and all of the things that weren’t (computers, speakers,
DVDs and player, TVs), lead us to believe that whoever did this was a
kid.

The boyfriend called me at work yesterday when he came home to
discover what had happened. I left immediately, but didn’t arrive home
for half an hour thanks to rush hour traffic. A police officer was
already in the driveway by the time I got there, filling out a report
and calling for assistance. A couple of neighbors gathered on our lawn.
I made my way into the house only to be hit with a terrible stench.
Poor Tootie was so frightened that she crapped in the floor. Twice. It
makes me so sad to think about how scared she must have been. And I
can’t even think about if he might have hit or kicked her.

But we think that she may be the reason why they didn’t get away
with more stuff. She had to have been going berserk. I sat with her on
the couch last night and rubbed her tummy while she slept. I could feel
it grinding away anxiously. She hasn’t eaten in a while.

Because they took our spare house keys we had to trek to Lowe’s to
buy new deadbolts for both the doors. Naturally, the boyfriend was the
one to put them in. We both cleaned up the glass, but he really got the
brunt of this deal. When he discovered we’d been robbed his first
thought was, "I’m going to have to tell Brittney that they shot
Tootie." So we all three sat on the couch and cuddled last night until
it was time for bed.

We’ve only been in that house for approximately three months. It is
on a quiet street in Inglewood near Shelby Park, and as far as we know
we are the only rental on the street. None of our neighbors, people who
have been living there for decades, have ever had anyone break in. Or
even try. Funny that they picked the poorest people on the street to
burglarize–we don’t have any diamonds or cash or guns.

People who live outside our neighborhood seem none too surprised
that our house was broken into. But they people who actually live there
are stunned, and can’t figure out why they targeted us. We have a
fence, which often means there is a dog. Our neighbor also wasn’t home,
but he has no fence. And no dog. And better stuff.

I won’t tell you about how I lost my keys this morning in the leaves
while walking the dog. I was just going up the street, but I locked the
door anyway. In being extra careful I locked myself out. I won’t get
into how I had to use the neighbor’s phone to get the boyfriend to bail
me out. Because then I’d have to tell you about how the dog got out and
began terrorizing every squirrel within a 100 foot radius. And this
post is too long already.