My job can be emotionally taxing at times. I’m held to a higher standard than other bloggers because I am paid to do it, because I work for corporate media and because the site is affiliated with shareholders and CEOs and the like. While everyone else is doing it for fun–and playing dirty politics and calling me names all the while–I have to act like a fucking professional and not go off on people. Which is hard. Because I have a feeling some of the people who antagonize me do so knowing that it can’t be a fair fight. I can’t ban them from commenting or delete comments without a very good reason. You see, it isn’t my blog, although I am the sole editor and writer. It is News 2’s blog. And while I have full editorial control of the website, I am obligated to take the punches without the ability to punch back. I feel obligated to let discussions run on unedited, even when they are filled with statements about how much I suck. I also have to allow people to comment that my company would be better served if someone else was writing the site. How many other people have to enable people to criticize their careers like that?

I am trying to balance stating my opinions regardless of the backlash with trying not to get fired. It is a daily battle. They picked a person who is prone to cussing, highly stubborn and unaplogetic about her beliefs, no matter how radical they may seem to some. While these attributes make for interesting writing, it is difficult to fit that into this media mold. Because it is a media blog, a blog run by a tv station. But I am asked to be subjective. I am more than happy to oblige, but when people disagree with what I’ve written, rather than debate what I’ve said they cry bias. "She’s biased!," they scream, "She can’t say that, she works for the MSM!" As part of the "MSM" I am often just as maligned.

Can I just stop right here and tell you how much I hate the term "MSM"? I mean, what the fuck, people? I’ve even seen folks write The Main Stream Media. What the hell is that dumb shit? Don’t be criticizing the monolithic MSM if you don’t even know how to spell what it stands for. I mean, Christ.

Okay, where were we? So, anyway, it’s tough playing the game when everyone else is on a different field. They do their blogs for fun, and they answer to no one. Not so for me. And I feel like lately that has been exploited by people. I go out of my way to be fair all the while voicing my opinion, so it is a real sock to the jaw when people say I’m not.

This job is an adventure, I must say. But it is emotionally exhausting. I still love it and consider myself very lucky, but I can’t wait for the vacation I will take after I finish today’s shift. I won’t go back until January. I’m going to spend some time with real people with actual faces who are nice to me. It will be a refreshing change.