The boyfriend bought me this book called The Dog Listener by Jan Fennell after I complained about my dog not knowing I’m the boss. She listens to the boyfriend, but runs all over me. This has to end or every article of clothing I will forever be muddy, and the bruises from her nips and bites will never heal.

I began reading it Friday and finished it yesterday. There is a second book included in the extended paperback that is a 30-day training manual based on the principles of the book I just finished. I haven’t yet delved into the 30-day plan, but I plan to this evening, because tomorrow starts Day One of Tootie’s training.

I’m starting immediately because I can already see good results. The concept is based on wolf pack mentality. Packs have Alpha pairs, male and female, but only the strongest, most intelligent and agile dogs become Alphas. When a dog is introduced to a family it assumes the role of pack leader, because the humans do not. We try shouting at them, scolding them, but that is not how dogs communicate. By understanding how dogs assume the role of Alpha is the key to letting your dog know who is boss.

It is important that your dog not be the Alpha because it is not fair to it. Dogs don’t know how to cope in a human world, so their leadership role isn’t befitting them and it stresses them out. Separation anxiety in dogs is actually the animal’s fear that it’s baby, its subordinate–the dog it must look out for–will never return. Dogs have no concept of time. By becoming the Alpha you can let your dog relax and enjoy his role. Dogs who aren’t the Alpha don’t jump or become aggressive or bite for no reason. They don’t constantly run underneath your feet, because they are no longer trying to protect you from falling off that cliff that isn’t there.

Ignoring your dog is one of the biggest ways to let it know you are the Alpha. One of the first steps mentioned is the Five Minute Rule. Every single time you separate from your dog, whether it be for eight hours or eight minutes, you must reestablish that you are the Alpha. You do this by ignoring your dog completely until it stops jumping up on you and barking and licking–that is how he is trying to show dominance. Eventually the dog will give up this song and dance. At that point you wait five full minutes before addressing the dog in any way. From the time you come in the door you may not make eye contact, speak to it or acknowledge it in any manner. You may only push it away if it is jumping and scratching. This must happen every time you reenter a room where the dog is. (This is a lifestyle and not a quick fix. This rule must be adhered to for the rest of the dog’s life, but she says it becomes second nature.)

Alpha dogs in the wild are naturally the strong and silent type, hence the ignoring. And man, is it hard. You want to ruffle her fur and pet her sweet head, but you mustn’t. It isn’t fair to your dog in the long run, it stresses them out. But I’ve been following this rule pretty strictly (guests too!) and she’s been much calmer. She doesn’t follow me from room to room! It’s amazing.

I can’t wait to dive in head first. I think I can create a good bond between Tootie and I so long as I follow the principles in the book and respect my dog, never force my will on it but through clear, non-threatening signals show it I am boss, and that she can just chill the fuck out and chew on a leg bone or something. Mommy’s got it covered.