- Just 22-months older than my sister, I wanted her to do everything with me. Before she had the physical ability to walk I would drag her around the house, banging her against everything and giving her rugburns. I also tried to teach her to talk. Most of the words I taught her were wrong.
- Little sister and I hit puberty about the same time, a time when Titty Twisters were especially painful due to budding breasts. I would wait for her to yawn, stretch her arms and then I’d go in for the twist. She was guilty of this torture as well.
- I would write her evil notes threatening to murder her in her sleep.
- I picked on her for being overweight. This is the one I regret the most. I cry if I think too much about what I said.
- In high school she would leave much earlier for school than me. I had an awful habit of going into her closet after she left and taking whatever I wanted for myself. I’d show up to school later wearing all her shit, and she would get so mad. So she started locking her bedroom door. So then I just used a coat hanger. Poor Mus.
- When I was about six and she was four I’d trade her nickels for dimes, because I’d convinced her nickels were bigger which meant they were worth more.
- I would listen in on her phone conversations when I wanted to use the phone.
- Or I would simply pull the cord out of the phone jack, resulting in an all out fist fight.
- Once I ratted her out. I’d gotten in trouble for something so minor, like not making my bed, when angelic Miss Amy had been sneaking out her bedroom window every night for a week, so I just blurted that out. God, that was so not cool. She was grounded for weeks.
- I can’t leave out the time I ran over her foot. (Scroll allll the way down, last entry.)
Ways I’ve Tormented My Little Sister
January 7th, 2006 — Lists