Ways I’ve Tormented My Little Sister

  • Just 22-months older than my sister, I wanted her to do everything with me. Before she had the physical ability to walk I would drag her around the house, banging her against everything and giving her rugburns. I also tried to teach her to talk. Most of the words I taught her were wrong.
  • Little sister and I hit puberty about the same time, a time when Titty Twisters were especially painful due to budding breasts. I would wait for her to yawn, stretch her arms and then I’d go in for the twist. She was guilty of this torture as well.
  • I would write her evil notes threatening to murder her in her sleep.
  • I picked on her for being overweight. This is the one I regret the most. I cry if I think too much about what I said.
  • In high school she would leave much earlier for school than me. I had an awful habit of going into her closet after she left and taking whatever I wanted for myself. I’d show up to school later wearing all her shit, and she would get so mad. So she started locking her bedroom door. So then I just used a coat hanger. Poor Mus.
  • When I was about six and she was four I’d trade her nickels for dimes, because I’d convinced her nickels were bigger which meant they were worth more.
  • I would listen in on her phone conversations when I wanted to use the phone.
  • Or I would simply pull the cord out of the phone jack, resulting in an all out fist fight.
  • Once I ratted her out. I’d gotten in trouble for something so minor, like not making my bed, when angelic Miss Amy had been sneaking out her bedroom window every night for a week, so I just blurted that out. God, that was so not cool. She was grounded for weeks.
  • I can’t leave out the time I ran over her foot. (Scroll allll the way down, last entry.)

7 comments ↓

#1 Auntie K on 01.07.06 at 5:33 pm

My sister (boyfriend’s mom), dragged me around the house by my neck shortly after I arrived home from the hospital. She said she was trying to help. She also slung me out of a moving car onto a busy highway when I was 11 years old. Boy did she get in trouble. I did my share of things to her also, like throw her pocketbook out of the car window on our way to florida one year among other things. It’s not because of but inspite of what we did to each other that has now made us best friends.

#2 flamingo on 01.07.06 at 10:35 pm

I thought I threw your purse out the window and it was not my fault that you were sitting next to the door when I took that left turn too fast. Thanks Brittney for reminding us that family stories are great!

#3 Lee on 01.08.06 at 9:20 am

When in elementary school, I was once pissed at my younger brother, and he knew it cause he was running away. I chunked a rock about the size of a softball at him, and from about 15 yards out, I actually hit him on the neck.

My amazement at actually hitting him soon turned to fear when I realized that he might seriously be hurt (though he wasn’t) and that I would soon get into trouble when he ran in the house crying.

Those were the days.

#4 dan on 01.08.06 at 10:36 am

I would look up words in the dictionary and utilize them to insult my brother, just so he wouldn’t know what I was calling him and would feel stupid. It didn’t matter if they made sense, which meant I’d say he was “defibrillate” and “erstwhile” and he would get mad. And then he’d punch me. But somehow I always thought I still won. Maybe I was stupid too.

#5 Iain Mc on 01.08.06 at 3:10 pm

My brother threw darts in the back of my leg once. He also completely broke my fingers once because I said I had broke them a little bit and couldnt play in goal at soccer.

Older brothers/sisters are bastards.

#6 Cory on 01.11.06 at 3:15 pm

I just can’t imagine being all hypersensitive in that area of the bod. I’m kinda relieved at being a guy. And a siblingless one at that.

#7 AuntMussyPants on 01.12.06 at 2:16 pm

Oh the knock down drag outs we used to have!!! I mastered the art of fighting w/ only my feet. Ha! I love you more than life!

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