Dear Tom Cruise,
Don’t you have a baby at home? A little perfect girl whose name means "pointy nose" and "pickpocket" who, if Scientology allows it, would enjoy some one on one time with her Pa. She’s brand new, you know? Just weeks old, your daughter should be bonding with you, not suckling at the tit of some nanny.
Get your middle tooth-havin’, hair plug-wearin’, Xenu-worshippin’, placenta muchin’ ass off my television set. I mean that. Take your swishy self back to where that baby is mister and stop faking smiles at Star Jones. Lest we start to think you had this baby for publicity purposes.
I still love you in Magnolia,
Brittney
8 comments ↓
I’ve been hearing a lot about snacking on placenta lately, and fail to understand it. Is that a popular dish at Scientology Super Bowl parties?
Or do I just frequent some odd sites?
Wackadoo Cruise does not get credit for “Magnolia”, though he was great in it, he was playing Tom Cruise. PT Anderson gets all the props for that one, Mr. Crazy just gets the Gas Face.
You’re right. He was amazing in Magnolia. That whole movie sort of made me thumb the phone book for a good therapist. I loved it.
Darnit, i’ve been reminded by no less than three people in the last month that i need to see Magnolia. Becuase i never have.
I also kind of want to see M:i:III, just to see Philip Seymour Hoffman play a moustache-twisting villain.
Pick on someone your own size!
Tom Cruise acts normal in movies and stuff but like most actors he is just acting!!!
Magnolia is an over rated movie. The same people who thought american beauty was a great movie loved magnolia.
You know what would really be weird? Frogs falling from the sky! It’s a movie for people who think they know what art looks like.
Dear Mark,
Will you please explain real art to us? Or at least let us know how we can know it when we see it?
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