• If I ever saw Woody Allen there I would knock him into the
  water and say GIT AWF MAH ROCK UR GIV UP SUM JOHANNSON PUSSAH.
• Well what is up bitch tittes.
• And the other day, I was walking in from the car, with my hands full of
  groceries and the shorts fell down and I had to just walk out of them
  and into the house.
• Milk, even when frozen into a baseball-bat shape, is nigh worthless as a baseball bat.
• I assumed the utterly useless crane stance from the first Karate Kid
  film and almost didn’t hear him elaborate by telling me how he had just
  finished repairing the elevator or ask why I was standing like that.
• Yeah, man, he kicked the shit out of Santa Claus just last week, and I was shocked ’cause I thought Santa was psychic.
• Just rip and tear your way to CRAZY TASTY town!
• Hello, you who found this site by searching for AVON KIDNAPPED MY BABY, I hope they gave it back.
• Brooklyn Supreme Court, you are not fucking around, and I respect that.
  Now let’s see if we can’t get some of that justice tossed ‘round my way.

When my father taught me how to drive he insisted that I learn to master a manual shift. "You never want to be stuck in a situation where you need to go somewhere, but the only car available is a stick you can’t drive. What if it was an emergency?," he said.

Plus, the little economy car he was handing down to me had a stick shift, so better sooner than later. Anyway, I just write this to say that I am very happy that I know how to drive a manual transmission. Every car I’ve gotten since then has been a stick. Good gas mileage, fun to drive, cheaper vehicles–all these attributes are what make a manual transmission my first choice.

Thanks, Dad. If it hadn’t been for you I wouldn’t experience the thrill of tooling around in my new little five-speed. It’s pure joy.