I was all set to liveblog America’s Next Top Model, the very best reality show ever televised. I was so disappointed to see that it was a recap show. In fact, I was pouting a little. On the inside. Then I discovered that they were including never-before-seen footage. Oh Tyra, I could never be mad at you for long. Tonight’s recap+ episode included all this awesome:

• Cassandra got frostbite from holding ice cream during a photoshoot, holy crap. She said she didn’t speak up about the pain because she didn’t want to be a punk. And Natasha had a whole damn tooth extracted with the slightest of pain medication because it makes her "sleepy." These bitches are hardcore.
• "YOU ARE FAKE. YOU ARE FAKE. YOU ALWAYS UP IN SOMEBODY FACE!"
  "YOU WANT TO GET UP IN MY FACE?"
  "I’LL PUNCH YOU IN YOUR FUCKING FACE."
• "I looked like a rich-ass dead woman, for real."
• Renee’s cutie pie baby boy Troy. Ah, I want eat his eyeballs.
• (Natasha interviewing Austrailians) "Favorite American color?"

(Australian dudes playing along because she’s cute) "Red and blue. Yeah, red and blue."

(Natasha, sure as shit.) "No, it’s actually pink."

Haha, what the hell? If you aren’t watching this show you’re really missing out.