Entries from September 2007 ↓

$900,000 from a specialty license plate has gone to buy land and build a two-story hunting lodge in Cumberland County, all owned by a ‘foundation” owned by the plate’s creator, Republican H.E. Bittle. Those involved in creating the legislation include current Lt. Gov. Ron Ramsey, 1st District Congressman David Davis and current Sullivan County Mayor Steve Godsey.

Winning hearts and minds!: U.S. Aims To Lure Insurgents With ‘Bait’

“We’re like the Roman Empire with Downs Syndrome” -a friend

(click to embiggen)

FBI eyes anti-Jena 6, pro-white supremacy website

Great idea: Kitty washroom!

Miss USA: “I just don’t want to end up like Katie Couric. I want people to take me seriously.”

NY Times Public Editor: The Times gave favorable treatment to MoveOn.org| MoveOn pays full ad rate

Bubbleland, KY: The Kentucky Bend [via Josh]

Bob Krumm: “I’m going to plead complete ignorance about this case, yet still imply that the protesters are jerks.”

Before I begin, let me remind you, the internet, that I myself have cankles. I have written about them before, and the post got more than 100 comments. I don’t have sorta cankles. No, I have full-on sturdy-ass grandma canks. Pregnant ladies ain’t got nothing on me. I got them honest. Both my mother and my father have thick ankles, and I’ve had them all my life, even when I was very thin. (I had a friend in middle and high school who teased me relentlessly about them.)

Since that time I have not learned to love my cankles, but I have learned to live with them. I’ve honed my skills at camouflage by constantly discovering new ways to flatter my admittedly heavy legs. This was after years of hiding in hot Tennessee summers behind jeans and pants. No more. Instead I try to create long, lean lines with tips and tricks I’ve gleaned after a lifetime of log legs, and I plan now to share them with you. Let me say now, though, that if you love your cankles then I celebrate you. Get your cankle on if you want to. You can use these rules of slimming your cankles by inverting them and breaking each and every one. In fact, I hope that you do.

HOW TO SLIM A GIANT SET OF CANKLES:

• No strappy shoes. I know, it sucks. Strappy shoes are awesome and sexy. But not on us. For us it looks like rubber bands around sausage links. The exception to this rule is if the straps are at your toes/front of the foot, but never, ever choose the ankle strap or the ribbon-wrap heels. That is a style gorgeous on those thin-limbed bitches, but it just draws the eyes to our thick ankles, accentuating them. Not what I want. If you do want that, wear them proudly for me. Oh, and if you must wear strappy shoes, try the t-strap style. This creates the illusion of a long line down the front of your leg, rather than creating a horizontal break at the ankle, making it look even wider.
• No capris. Believe me, I feel you. As a short & wide girl, I find it easier just to buy cropped pants and not worry about them being too long, but no. Not with the canks. Capri pants, especially with socks, are like a window for your cankles. There might as well be a sign that says, “Look at these!” With capris the only skin you choose to bear is that of your ankles. If you’ve got big ones, not one is fooled, even if you get the wide-legged pants. Trust me, I operated under this illusion for far too long. (I break this rule all the time. I’m willfully breaking it, though. At least I’m aware.)
• Ankles socks are good, knee socks are better. Knee socks with short skirts are hot. This is a look you should try, because it moves eyes up to the knee or thigh area, which is, thankfully, is not your cankle area. Ankle socks are your best bet when paired with sneakers, because the other kind just emphasizes the wideness of your base, while creating the dreaded sock lines made by too-tight elastic. Never a good look.
• No kitten heels. These are much more comfortable to wear than tall heels, but kitten heels make legs look stubby instead of long and lean, like their higher, albeit more painful, cousins. I think flats, even, are better than kitten heels, but that is just my opinion. Kitten heels are just not very flattering to me.
• Try tall boots. Nothing disguises cankles better than tall boots. Unless you also have heavy calves, like me, in which case then they can be hard to find. But once you’ve found a winner, tall boots are a fall-back favorite. Put a pair on with a shortish skirt, and it’s instant hotness.
• Avoid rounded toe shoes. This look seems to accentuate the matronly look of many a heavy-ankled gal. The pointy toed heel trend did a cankled girl good, but that look seems to be on the wane. Still, avoid the thick heeled, round-toed high shoe if you want not to look like your rotund Aunt Edna. On the other hand, if you don’t give a crap, may I suggest these? They are lovely.

Now, go forth and shop. Knowing is half the battle, my large-cankled lady friends.