As a born and bred Southerner, I have always winced at provincial comments from Big City slickers who quickly jump to unfunny quips about cousin fucking and toothlessness. But now I am getting my kicks from reading comments about where I am about to live. Check out these comments from Fark users (not the cream of the crop, I know) about San Francisco, a city who will be turning off nonessential lights at landmarks for an hour this weekend to promote energy conservation:
- “If I ever went to San Francisco I guess I’d have to get vaccinated against AIDS. Just to be safe like Pelosi’s staff when they go to a NASCAR event.”
- “cloud of smug, anyone?”
- “Or… you could turn off the Espresso machines for a few hours in the morning for energy conservation. ^_^ But that probably wouldn’t go over so well.”
- “It just so happens that my cousin–who has to use a machine for her terminal illness–lives near the Golden Gate, and that her house is connected to the same power grid. So when they turn out those lights, her power will be shut off, too. She currently has plans to stay at a friends house, but if she was some elderly old lady with no knowledge of the event, she could die. All so that the liberals can demonstrate ‘conservation’.”
- “Just make sure you have your anal bum cover in place.”
- “I predict a lot of rampant gay rapes happening.”
- “so the bath houses won’t be open”
Funny. And different. That is all.
3 comments ↓
I predict you will find it hard to convince people in SF that you really are a liberal. Compared to them, you’re Pat Buchanan. You’ll be the most conservative person in most any room. I know the feeling. I’m Micheal Moore at my inlaw’s house.
Yeah, but the difference is, they won’t excoriate you for it here. I’m sort of conservative by Bay Area standards (balance the budget, business is not evil) but very liberal by national standards (no death penalty, no abortion, U.S. out of Iraq, pretty much anybody with a job here should be allowed to live here). But I don’t get a lot of shit about it. People here may rebut what you have to say but they won’t really take you apart personally.
It’s funny, isn’t it, that certain people’s minds would automatically turn to gay sex when the lights turn out. More evidence that a lot of homophobes are themselves closeted gay people.
In the middle of my second trip to SF this year (actually it’s even worse: I’m staying in Berkeley this time) and guess what… I’m still straight!
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