Entries from May 2008 ↓

I made yet another mix for you.

“A wonderful electronic remix of “Alice In Wonderland” using sounds and images from Disney’s 1951 animated film.”

For someone who regularly warns readers about “smut” at the Nashville Scene website before linking to them, and who also dissed Musica because the statue features naked people, I was surprised to see the following ad on Kay Brooks’ blog:

“Would you like another cocktail?,” I asked.

I was working my first night behind the bar. She was drinking Marker’s Mark & 7-Up. The bar actually was hooked up to Coca-Cola products, so in reality it was a Maker’s & Sprite. But no one ever ordered that. At a bar it’s 7-Up or else you couldn’t order the classic 7&7, and that is that.

Her drink was about three-fourths of the way dry. I heard the wet thud of melded ice slide into the flat, glass bottom of her beverage.

She was blonde. Even in her mid-30s I believe her hair was naturally very pale. She was short, athletic looking with ruddy cheeks. She leaned forward onto the bar’s top on her forearms, one shin in the barstool. She used her other leg to push against the brass banister near the floor. She got very close to my face.

“Would you like a cocktail,” she said. It was not a question. I peered back at her, a wet rag in my hand.

I was nervous about being a drink slinger. Bartenders know shit, and I didn’t know shit. “If you don’t know how to make something, speak up. Just tell them. There is no shame in being a rookie.” Words of wisdom from my trainer ran laps in my head.

“Would you like a cocktail.” She repeated herself. Again, this was not a question.

The bar was relatively empty that Sunday night. There was NFL football on both big screen t.v.s. I was scheduled for my first shift on a slow night so I could get my sea legs. Despite a small number of patrons, Sunday night was when the regulars came out en masse. At this bar, perhaps at any bar, the regulars were also fully committed alcoholics.

“Lemme give you some advice,” she slurred at me with an old money accent that reeked of Kentucky, disappointment and privilege. Her empty drink was the first she’d ordered. From us. “Never ask if someone wants another cocktail. Don’t be gauche.” Her final, declarative sentence clung in the air.

Her eyes were glassy and blank. She was still leaning onto her arms at me over the bar. Her fists held the laquered wood, and her knuckles were white. She pulled her lips back over slick teeth, and smiled a smile draped in bourbon and condescension.

“Can I get you one more, man?,” I heard my trainer ask a guest in the corner.

“Yeah,” the gentleman replied. “One more.”

• Eating virginal vegan salad. No cheese even. Just lettuce, beans, carrots, avocado, mushrooms and peas. Disgusting.
• Going to attempt to bathe the itchy boy dog tonight. Gonna have a drink to take the edge off first. Wish I could give him one too.
• OH: “If I were Obama I would be like, ‘McCain is a hater. He needs to quit hatin.’ That is my doctrine! The Parker doctrine: Don’t Hate.”

A Bay Area blogger asked me to share a few sentences about corporate or professional blogs. Basically, those built for PR purposes. He works for a museum that is thinking of starting a blog, and he asked me to impart some wisdom. I gave him this instead:

Things I think are important to consider when working with a corporate or otherwise professional blog:

• Be authentic and genuine. Have personality. Bland, boring press releases will be ignored. Consider have the blogger write in first person.
• Have fun with it. People need a reason to come *back* to a blog like one for your museum. Sure, they may go there the first time for info, but having engaging writing is key. Don’t be afraid to loosen things up a bit.
• Participate in the blog community. If you don’t read, link to or otherwise engage other bloggers your site will not see much traffic.
• Be transparent. Don’t lie to people, they’ll figure it out. Don’t use wormy wording as businesses are so inclined to do. Don’t use a bunch of industry lingo unless your site is geared specifically toward a niche group.
• Encourage participation. Don’t make people jump through hoops to comment. Welcome dialogue and exchange.

I think there is a lot more to explore here, but this is a good jumping off point. Just remember that blogging provides an opportunity for readers to get to know the person behind the site or learn things they can’t get elsewhere. Make it engaging and make it genuine and you will be surprised how much mileage you will get.

I love this photo so much.

I have never wanted to take away someone’s physical pain as much as I do right now. Witnessing someone you care deeply about in so much pain that they want to die is horrible. Not as horrible as he feels right now, but awful nonetheless.

He can’t speak. He can’t drink. He can’t eat. He can’t breathe. He can’t swallow. He can’t escape, and it’s been going on for weeks now. And there is not a thing in all the world I can do about it, but wish him sweet dreams for relief.

New mix made just for you.

I’m gonna be going back home for a week’s visit in either July or August, and after reading this note from a Bay Area friend, I kinda can’t wait for the reverse culture shock:

You’re still new here, but after a while you forget what life outside of CA is like. You go back home and visit fam & friends and wonder WHY everyone there is wearing chinos & polo shirts and why isn’t it appropriate to talk about dildos and butt plugs in a coffee shop? Hey, how come talking about the girl who has two mommies is a conversation-ender? And hey, how come I can’t buy booze on Sunday? It creeps up on you.

Like I said, can’t wait. I imagine going back will be almost as weird as coming out here in the first place.