I just had a conversation with my father about five minutes ago that I am still laughing about. I was just sitting at work, blogging on my blog about blogs, when I see Dad Cell on my phone. I picked it up and carried it to the lobby where I get better reception.
Me: Hello?
Dad: Okay. I am going down here to this little ol’ couple’s house to pick up some fresh hen eggs. They live in just a little ol’ shack, but they have hens and chickens, and they gather fresh brown eggs every day. So, that is where I am headed.
Me: Okay. Wow, that sounds good. (In my head: Why the hell is he calling me at work to talk about eggs?)
Dad: They are good. There is another place that has fresh hen eggs for $3.75 a dozen.
Me: Huh. (In my head: Is he drunk?)
Dad: Oh yeah, and they are good, too. They taste so much better fresh.
Me: Yeah, that sounds really good. (In my head: I know he is diabetic. Is his blood sugar so low that he is delirious? Should I be alarmed?)
Dad: You had some, remember?
Me: No.
Dad: Yes, you do. You came down here and I gave you some. You were going to use the ones you brought…
Me: Dad, who do you think you are talking to?
Dad: Uh oh, who is this?
Me: This is Brittney.
Dad: Oh my Lord, I thought this was your sister. I got disconnected from her, and tried to call her right back. I got a new phone where you just speak the name and a new Bluetooth, and I can’t hear shit. I can’t believe you just let me ramble on like that.
Me: I thought you might be drunk.
11 comments ↓
ha ha this is exactly something my dad would do.
Now, if you dad was on twitter we would have all been able to know about the fresh eggs and he wouldn’t have had to call anyone. The world would be a better place if there were more fresh hen eggs on twitter.
Ha. The randomness of conversations with family can sometimes be disturbing.
LOL, he called me and told me how much he can’t “fucking” hear.
For some reason my mother can’t seem to plug her phone into the car charger without accidentally hitting whatever speed dial number I’m on. So every so often I answer the phone and hear her in the distance just talkin’ talkin’ talkin’ talkin’ to my dad. I listen for a while, then hang up. I’ve never told her so she has no idea that she does this.
thats ok. my ex head chef who got shit cannec still has me on speed dial, accidentally calls me from his pant pocket when his cigarettes hit the key all the time, and we didn’t even get along. It makes for funny conversation when he hear me yelling at him from his pocket.
Come to think of it, i should record some of those. Last time he was yelling at his wife about how he “fuckin hates tacos.”
Yes, I’ve had similar “WTF? Has she slipped a groove?” conversations with my mom. One time she laid the phone down to go get something from the back room and forgot me; I was on the other end of the phone for twenty minutes listening to her singing and washing dishes, cussing at the dog, wandering around bumping into things in the kitchen before she finally heard me faintly yelling “Mom, Mom, hang up the phone….”
This is hilarious. I can’t stop laughing. I think I might call a few people and just read the “dad” part of your transcript down the phone like I’m speaking to them, and see what happens. Will they think I’m drunk? Most likely. Wouldn’t be the first time.
Now that was funny!!
I wish I had a sibling.
Oh, Baby…this is just the beginning. They do that…ramble…our parents…as they get older. Eventually, it will be about their ailments, people they know that you will never ever meet…yeah, it’s a blast.
I bet I know whose place he got those eggs from!
Leave a Comment